California’s electric rate plans should be more creative and fun.

California’s CPUC is re-doing our electric rate plans, and it’s complicated. Maybe they should consider some of these simpler, less headache-inducing plans.

Virtual meter plans:

Buddy/BFF Plan. Pairs of neighbors can share one virtual meter, chip in on solar and storage, and cut deals with each other (we’ll do solar on your roof, ethereum mining in my basement).

Family Plan. Up to 10 households can share a virtual meter, so you can all see when your cousin runs his grow lights and your in-laws do laundry. Good luck getting grandma to pay the bill.

Metaverse Group Plan. Online groups can share virtual meters, enabling them to compare electrification strategies and usage data, and design elaborate dystopian games for splitting the bill.

Load balancing and peak shaving plans:

Freemium TOU Plan. ‘All the electricity you can use’ is free from 10am to 2pm, when solar maxes out on the grid. But you must display “Chargin’ On Sunshine” stickers on all your electric vehicles. 

Crypto Hustler Plan. For every kW of load you can shed within 10 seconds of receiving a notification from the utility, we’ll deposit one official ‘AmpedCoin’ into your crypto wallet.

Net Metering 4.0 Plan. For every megawatt of solar you export to the grid, we give you an In-N-Out Burger gift certificate. Terms and conditions apply.

Power user’ plans:

Grid Waffle Plan. For people with solar and storage who can’t decide if they need grid backup and what days. You can toggle backup on and off as often as you want, for a fee. But you should also see a therapist.

Cloudy With No Chance of Megawatts Plan. For the grid waffler who’s sick of guessing wrong, this plan lets you lock in grid backup for all the cloudy winter days when your solar array isn’t producing.

Transformer Busters Plan. Charge as many cars as you want, and export as much solar as you want. But if you break your local transformer, you own it. Just kidding – you pay 35% of replacement cost. Unless you’re on ‘Transformer Busters Plus’… then your co-pay is $40.

Roll Your Own Plan. We expose our grid data APIs and you bid proposed transactions into our AIs. Oh wait… we don’t have AIs.

Promotional/teaser plans:

Electric Avenue Plan. If you fully electrify your home, and at least two of your neighbors do also, and you call us and whistle “Rock Down To Electric Avenue,” your next megawatt hour is free.

Watt A Beautiful Life Plan. Our VIP concierge plan. $1/kWh flat rate, but if you have any electrical issues at all, or can’t figure out your microwave’s settings, we’ll send our best technicians out immediately.

Got more fun electric rate plan ideas? Share them with me on Twitter, can’t wait to hear them.

Reddy Kilowatt, a 20th Century promotional character.